Top of the Blog: BOYS FIRST TIME Breathing a huge sigh of relief, I kissed my lover back pouring all my pent up emotions into it. The warm smile she gave told me everything was going to work out just fine between us. If I'd still been a little unsure up until now, then I knew in that moment that I loved Ellen. Even though she had wanted me to end up with her daughter in whatever strange way her mind had reached that conclusion, it was one thing for her to say it didn't bother her but her body language told me she meant it. Holding her in my arms I fought back tears, knowing how fortunate I was that this hadn't destroyed us. I promised myself I'd never take that chance again and if anything were to happen between Jessica and I in the future then Ellen would know all about it.